Yesterday morning the hospital started to "ween" Scott off his versed (sedation) and fentanyl (pain) meds with a goal to wake him up to a more responsive state.   This may take a longer period of time because of his kidney condition that retains the meds in the blood longer than a healthy person.  He still has his infection and everything else.

Hayden and HeartLee having been on their own anti-biotics for a sufficient time were able to see him briefly, although he was not responsive yet.   We have decided that it is best for them to get back to a routine of familiarity than to feel so helpless and aimless in this waiting game.  So, they flew back to BYU yesterday evening to try to move forward.  No easy task we know but Scott has been so worried these past few years that his health problems would impede his family from moving on with their lives that we were certain that Scott did not want them just waiting around for something to happen. The kids and I were able to sit down with the trauma doctor and nurse to get a better understanding on the situation before they went to the airport.

There were a few rays of hope that we left with from that meeting.  One is after much discussion on what Scott wants, the doctor assured us that this ethics committee decision is pure formality and their counsel would never over-ride the wishes of a united family's decision.  The second was that in his "off the record opinion" that once the breathing help is withdrawn from Scott and other life supporting measures, given his condition, it would not be a long process for him to pass.  He even went as far to say as he did not predict Scott to make it out of the hospital to hospice.  I know that it may sound a bit callused but truly we do not want, HE did not want such a lingering situation, so that thought gave us comfort.  But we know that it is not up to us or the doctors.  We are learning to say with complete faith, "Thy will be done" and not ours.  We hope to mean it, each time we utter the phrase.

The tenderest and most surreal moments yesterday were certainly having Hayden and HeartLee to each separately and solo to have a few moments with their Father and tell him what he already knows that he is loved dearly and profoundly by his children. Although, they received no response they both felt that he heard them.  Then having to say my own good-byes at the airport and watch my children depart when I just wanted to hold them and take away their pain and have them ease mine as well was one of those moments you hope is once in a life time.

We continue to see daily the tender mercies of the Lord that assures us that He is aware of our pain and sorrow and we have felt the comfort of the Spirit enfold us as we move in a forward motion.

Dessie