Ode to Edna and Brent

It has been awhile since my last post and the reason is not so simple.  I would say a combination of excuses would explain....overwhelmed, angry, exhausted with so much to do and so little desire to do any of it.  They say grieving is work.  I would say grieving is hard labor, as you toil emotionally, physically, financially, socially, and spiritually.....there is not an area in your life that is not affected.

Well,  it has been a month and I have decided that I want to change my mind and choose door number three instead.  Whatever door number 3 holds? Or maybe it is door number 2?  All I know is that the door I opened, I want to close it quickly.

Since that is not happening, I have been trying to come to terms with my new situation and in the process have thought about  two people who taught me volumes in life lessons with just a few words.  First, I want to mention Sister Edna Satterwaite.  We were living in South Austin, in the Sunset Valley Ward when I first met Edna.  She was a recent convert to the church and I loved the hats she would wear each Sunday.  One Sunday, I was walking up one end of the hallway at church and she was coming down the other end and as we crossed paths, I took that moment to ask how she was doing.  I expected to hear a "Just Fine" or  a, "Hanging in there." But to my surprise, she uttered none of those. Her child like and effortless response of three words has adhered to me since.  She replied, "I am Blessed." 

I was taken back by the sincerity in her voice when she answered.  I knew a little about Edna's life and from what I knew, I did not think that anyone would call her life blessed.  She was older and lived alone in government housing in a questionable neighborhood.  She had a myriad of health challenges as well as financial concerns.  She did not have children to help her and she had been forsaken by those in life who should have been there for her.  Yet, when she spoke those trio of words, I felt that she meant it.  She seemed to be focusing on what she did have in her life.

She recently had come to the knowledge that she had a loving Father in Heaven that sent His Son to atone for our sins and His gospel has been restored to the earth.  She now belonged to a group of women that cared about her, visited her and had a home teacher and Bishop looking in on her.  I do not think Edna knew how her response to my standard social question affected me.  I obviously do not remember every reply given to me when I inquire how someone is doing but I did remember Edna's.  Thank you Edna for your example of knowing what it means to be blessed.

The second person, I have thought about a lot recently is my father, Brent Whiting Brown.  My father gave us lots of good advice in word and more importantly in deed.  But, I have been reflecting on a phrase that he used to say, "Be careful what you put out there or you'll start believing your own press." He usually was found to say that thought when one of us kids were saying how hard it was to do something or other and we just could not do it.  Or when we were saying that we were not smart enough, talented enough, cute enough, etc. to do something.

I often found it a bit annoying that he would respond that way.  I felt like I wanted more sympathy from him.  But being a lot wiser he knew that we could be swayed into thinking we could not do something if we were always found putting out negative press about it.  He also knew that the reverse was true, if we put out some positive press like, "I can do this" or  "This problem is not so big," that we  would be able to conquer.  It has taken me years to completely understand his truism.  Thank you Dad for not allowing me to wallow in self-pity and showing me what positive press can do.

Although, both Edna and my father are no longer with us on this earth, I dedicate these next posts to their influence and example.  As tomorrow makes the one month mark  (I promise not to commemorate every anniversary date), it also makes it 12 days before Christmas. So to put out some positive press about how blessed I really am and to start documenting all the tender mercies and miracles we have experienced, I am going to write a daily entry to Christmas Day.

This will be my present to Scott this year.  He was always so hard to come up with a new idea for a gift.  I think he will appreciate this year's effort, especially since it will not cost anything but time.