On the 1st day before Christmas....

On this day before Christmas, (I think I can still claim it to be before Christmas at 11:30 pm on Dec. 24th) I am happy to have spent the day near and around family.  I must admit that it has been harder as Christmas Day approaches to not be sad and weepy as I remember all Christmases past with Scott.  He was always more excited then the kids and would be the first one up coaxing me to please let him go wake up Hayden and HeartLee.  He never could keep a secret on what he bought you for a present.  It was a good thing that he always did his shopping last minute so it was not torture for him to attempt to keep his purchase under wraps.  Which reminds me of how he bribed HeartLee since she was old enough to use scissors to wrap his gifts to me.  There was no amount of bribery that Hayden would accept to complete that task for he is following in his Father's footsteps, as I heard him plead with HeartLee to wrap his gifts this year.

I miss shopping with Scott for the kids' gifts and getting second opinions.  They will probably miss him too helping with the shopping, since he was far more generous with the finances than I was and am.   I miss seeing Scott don the Santa suit and give his belly "Ho, Ho, Hos."  I miss him admiring the Christmas decorations I and HeartLee put up.  Not that he helped with that sort of thing but he was always very complementary on the finished product.  I miss him being tickled when friends came  over with goodies and carols and he would visit with them and join in their song.  I miss him reading "T'was the Night Before Christmas Cajun Style" with his acquired mission accent (he went to Louisiana).  No body could tell a story like Scott and keep the tired and cranky kids still listening.  I missed him at every Christmas party I had to attend without him.  I missed him tonight as we participated in a family Christmas eve Nativity program.  He would mostly act  the part of a wise man or wise guy  or read the narration as his health declined. I missed him tonight as we did a new tradition of a white elephant gift exchange.  We all kept thinking how much Scott would have loved this fun because he would be fighting us for the Hot Booties and Feather hair extensions.  In all things Christmas, I  just miss him.  Perhaps that is why I am not so anxious to go to bed.

As I have been missing him and just wanting to somehow get through this season, today the season finally went through me.  Scott loved Christmas because it was about his two favorite things.  First, about the birth of our Savior and then about family.  I was reminded about that today.  I know it is late in the season to be remembering that important fact but better late then never this year.  I saw tender mercies all around me today and reflected how they have been around me always.  I do not know how I could have gone through what we have  these last couple of months without the love and support of my family and our Savior.  I thought when we decided to move back to Arizona  from Texas five years ago that it was for us to be closer to my Mom and family and help them, since my Father's death.  Little could I see how I would be the one needing help. And help them have!  I can not list everything done in our behalf because I would be at the computer until next year.  Echoing the words of Edna, I can say sincerely, if asked how I am doing that I am blessed!  Dad you were right, as always, put out positive press and you can believe it and feel it.  Thank again.

As I spent the day with my nieces and nephews directing the building of gingerbread houses in total mayhem and then the hours cleaning up the tornado that passed through our home,  my attitude sifted slowly from poor me to lucky me.  In this world where so many things go wrong and stay wrong  and people do wrong, there is still so much good I can see.  I saw that good again as I was privileged to be part of an audience to a Nativity reenactment.   That simple story of a birth of a babe in humble circumstances told year after year carries with its words such hope and power to continue on through the next year. Yes, there is sadness and hurt in this life but the good news is the gospel of Jesus Christ.  The Savior was born into the world.  Our Heavenly Father does love His children.  The Atonement is a gift for everyone, all year long, all your life.  Families are only separated temporarily and the truth is I have been feeling of late that really they are not separated at all.  So, now that it is after midnight as I finish, I can wish the reader a very Merry Christmas and since these entries are Scott's present this year, I wish him also a....
 Merry Christmas!

 The future looks bright here!

Our Family Nativity Cast 2012

(Yes, Hayden is the star of the show in more ways than one.  He got the part on account of his height. and HeartLee is the producer, director, costume mistress...)

Outstanding Creations!